


I May Not Live To See Our Glory

by starstruckstark



Category: They Both Die at the End - Adam Silvera
Genre: Afterlife, Fix-It, Happy Ending, I needed closure desperately, M/M, ghost!mateo, the first half is pretty hecking sad though, they still both die at the end sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 12:45:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15024893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starstruckstark/pseuds/starstruckstark
Summary: Mateo is there until the very end.(aka: Rufus' final hours from Mateo's perspective, and of course, the afterlife that follows)





	I May Not Live To See Our Glory

**Author's Note:**

> This book had me shaken to my core, to the extent that I finally had the inspiration to dust the cobwebs off of this account and write something new. I hope you enjoy!

MATEO  
Eventually, the burning subsides. I re-open my eyes cautiously, and everything is still in flames. Smoke billows around me, but I'm breathing easy, my lungs aren't aching anymore. When I stand, I realize that my body isn't moving with me. I stare at my lifeless figure as everything begins to sink in: I'm dead, that's me, a roasted corpse on my kitchen floor. And that's when I hear him.  
"MATEO!" Rufus. He's still alive. He's calling for me. I give my body once last glance before I move to find him. I don't know if I can save him like this, but I can still be with him. I find him at the front door, coughing as my neighbors speak frantically. When I reach out for Rufus to grab his shoulders, I notice my hands. They don't look ghostly or translusent, or even any paler than usual. When I touch Rufus, I can feel the solidness of his shoulders as they rise and fall with jagged breaths, but he doesn't react to my touch at all. Before I can even begin to process everything, Rufus is sprinting back into the flames. I don't even have time to chase after him, he's already dragging my corpse back into the hallway. I'm overwhelmed with guilt as I watch him hold me.  
"Wake up Mateo, wake up, wake up," he cries. "Why'd you get out of bed.... We, we said we wouldn't get out of..." He's crying, and I feel completely helpless. I crouch beside him and rub his back slowly, though I know he can't feel me.  
"I'm sorry, Roof," I whisper, swaying gently with him, "I'm so sorry you feel alone now. I'm right here, I'm right here." I hope with everything I have that somehow, someway, this message is getting to him.  
I don't let go of him, even when the fire trucks arrive. I hold onto him tightly when he refuses to leave my side, and I find myself crying into his shoulder when he lies to the firefighters for me, when he yells at them to save me. The paramedics try to put me in a body bag, but Rufus throws it away.  
"It's okay, I'm okay, Rufus." I try to reassure him, but even I hear my voice getting lost in his choked sobs. I hug him around his waist and follow him as he returns to my side.  
"Come on Mateo, it's me, Roof. You hear me, right? It's Roof. Wake up now. Please wake up." He's begging. I don't even know what to say to him. 

...  
He's in the hospital now, resting and getting clean air into his lungs. He doesn't feel me, but I'm laying in bed right beside him, cuddled close, my head resting on his chest. I watch as he looks through his Instagram, and messages the Plutos about me. I'm thankful that he's still alive. I think he deserves to live forever, but at the very least, until the final seconds of his end day. However the guilt of going first is crushing me. I'm scared that he thinks I abandoned him. It makes me want to pound my fists against his chest and scream until he feels me here, until he knows that he's not alone. I wouldn't just let him die alone.  
I'm glad that Rufus calls Lidia, she should hear the news from him. But I find myself desperately whispering apologies to her into his phone. I'm silenced when Rufus talks about visiting my dad. He tells Lidia all about our day, about everything I would have never done without Rufus, and I'm crying as I listen. I'm not really sure why, but I choose not to question it as I let the tears flow easily.  
My father doesn't wake up when we enter the room, he doesn't even stir. For the first time in many hours, I leave Rufus and go to my dad's side. I take a minute to just look at his face, to take in his features one last time. I squeeze his hand as tightly as I can manage, and press a kiss to his forehead. I tell him that I love him, and that I will see him again one day, and then I step away. Rufus is seated beside him, introducing himself to my dad. I step into the hallway, and let Rufus talk. I'm half tempted to stay and listen in, but decide to let them have their moment privately. 

...  
When Rufus finishes talking to my dad, he leaves the hospital, and I follow. As soon as we step onto the sidewalk, I realize that Rufus' time is almost up. I would have to watch him die at any moment. Part of me still regrets getting out of bed; if I had stayed we could still be there together, having simultaneous heart attacks or sleeping peacefully as the building collapsed around us. I breathe through the panic that rises in my chest and hold Rufus' hand. There was nothing I could do to prevent his death, that isn't my purpose. Death comes for everyone eventually, and today it came for Mateo Torrez and his friend Rufus Emeterio. It may have found me first, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let Rufus be alone. He's leading us towards Althea Park, I wonder if he even notices. His attention is on his phone, he is watching the video of me singing. It feels like that was taken years ago, but it's only been hours. He doesn't look up as he enters the street, and barely falters as a car rushes towards him, the driver honking and frantically trying to stop the vehicle. I don't let go of his hand. 

...  
In the distance, I hear the driver calling an ambulance, and a witness reassuring them that it wasn't their fault, that it was probably just a decker looking for a quick way out. The commotion fades to the background. I'm laying with Rufus, our foreheads pressing together. One of my hands is still holding his tightly, and the other is gently stroking his cheek.  
"It's alright, Roof," I speak softly, assuringly, "You're okay, I'm with you. I've got you, Rufus." I don't know how long I lay there, holding him and talking softly, but finally, I hear his voice,  
"Mateo?" I roll onto my back and see Rufus standing there, unscathed. I spring to my feet and hug him tightly, this time, knowing he can feel me. He hugs me back, and I feel him shaking with sobs.  
"I know. I'm sorry I died first, I know I promised. I'm so sorry. I'm right here, okay? I never left you, I've been right here." I'm speaking frantically now, desperate to make sure he hears everything I've been trying to tell him since I died. Rufus pulls back slightly so he can look me in the eyes, and both his hands cup my face.  
"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you." He answers, mimicking what I had said to him earlier. I'm suddenly so overwhelmed that I can't even think of what to say in response, so I just lean in and kiss him. We stay pressed together, kissing and crying, until the world around us fades away. 

...  
RUFUS  
Time passes the same way in the afterlife as it did before, at least- for most people it does. Technically, you can live however you want here, and some people choose to hole up somewhere and never let societal constructs touch them again. But most of us- the creatures of habit that we are- choose to keep existing as if we were alive. You can have anything you want here, really. Many people live in lavish mansions or even castles, others in exact replicas of their homey one-bedroom apartments. Some people spend their time partying or exploring, others live their afterlives as similarly as they can to their old lives. The possibilities are essentially endless.  
Mateo builds. He dedicates hours to building beautiful homes and structures for anyone who may need them, just like he always wanted to. After he builds, he comes home to me. Our house isn't huge, but it couldn't be more perfect. As many families in the after-life do, we foster the children that tragically died before their parents. We care for them and give them a loving home until they're reunited with their families. Death can be cruel and unfair, and everyone here is a victim of it, but we manage to find peace and happiness. We miss our living friends and family, and try to look in on them as much as we can. The Plutos all stayed together, and thrive with one another. Lidia and Mateo's dad visit each other often. Penny seems to get bigger every time we turn around.  
Today, Mateo and I get all dressed up and go to the dance club that he built, like we do almost every weekend. I squeeze into a booth, already crowded by his mom, my parents, and my sister. Mateo waves at us, grinning as he climbs onto the stage. I chat with our families as he gets ready, nodding along as my sister tells me about her newest adventures, and asking Mateo's mom about the new job she wants to start pursuing. The crowd falls silent as Mateo steps up to the microphone and clears his throat.  
"Hi everyone!" He greets the audience, and they cheer lightly in return. People love to hear Mateo sing, and the club is filled with both regulars and newcomers, all eager for the performance to begin. Mateo always makes an effort to vary his set list, and he rarely ever sings the same song more than once. I watch him sing through his set, some of the songs I recognize, some are brand new to me. I take pictures of course, most are of him, but others are of the audience members as they feel the music. As he finishes what we all assume is the last song, everyone erupts with applause. Instead of taking a bow, though, he stands sheepishly, waiting for the cheers to die down. When they do, he speaks up again, "So, today is actually a very special day," he begins, I look around at our family to see if they know where this is going. They all smile knowingly.  
"One year ago today, I was sitting in bed, when I got the phone call that almost everyone dreads," he explains, "I still remember how afraid I was. I thought I'd wasted my life..." He trails off for a moment, and I will myself not to tear up, "But, everything changed that day. I downloaded the last friends app, and somehow got lucky enough to find Rufus Emeterio." I feel myself blushing, "Some of you probably know the guy. If you don't, I'll just tell you that he is the most amazing person I've ever met. He allowed me to be brave on the scariest day of them all. I didn't just find a last friend, I found the love of my life- or, of my death I guess..." The audience laughs at that, I can feel my cheeks grow sore from grinning so wide. "So I'm gonna to sing one more song, the song I sang to him to make him feel special on our end day, this is for you, Roof." He starts singing, and it's the most familiar song in the world. In the back of my mind, I'm aware of how disgustingly cheesy this whole moment must be, but I just don't care. Tears finally slide down my face, and my smile grows impossibly wider. Mateo is looking at me, and I stare right back, swaying to the music. Our lives may have ended that day, but our story had only just begun.

**Author's Note:**

> (i’m honestly kind of embarrassed by how cheesy the ending of this is but iTS WHAT THEY DESERVE OKAY DON’T @ ME,, anyways...)  
> Thanks for reading! Sorry if the paragraph breaks are messy, I'm not good with this kind of technology lol. Come talk to me on twitter @starstruckstark :)


End file.
